David Gobble

Rick Whitehead

Fard Muhammad

Carlos

Allison Pregler

Elizabeth Howard Grace

Rob Walker

Santa Christ

Doug Walker

Samuel Tobinski / Kendrick Tobinski

Malcolm Ray

The Devil

Brad Jones

Willy Whitehead

Brian Lewis

Burton Burpo

Zachary La Voy

Ranger Buckman

Tamara Lynn Chambers

Darlene

Sarah Gobble

God

Aidan Bart

Young Rick

Nash Bozard

Terry

Flynn Hanners

Father Jenkins

Jillian Zurawski

Rick's Mom

Ed Smith

Praying Man

Christopher Proffitt

Gabe

Trevor Ollech

Ned and Stacey

Brian Irving

Internet Neckbeard

Sean Wilburn

TV Cameraman

Ed Glaser

TV Producer

Joe Means

Heaven's Stage Manager

Allison Means

Dana

Tia Spencer

Maid of Honor

Scott Spencer

Christopher Hitchens (voice)

Rob Sheehan

Internet Commentor 1

Cory Lyle Vinderslev

Internet Commenter 2

Eric Gaspard

Internet Commentor 3

Ryan Mitchelle

Internet Commentor 4

Michael Schiciano

Internet Commenter 5

Patrick Buss

Restaurant Patron (uncredited)

Louie Corbo

Internet Neckbeard (uncredited)

Meagan Rachelle

Bush (uncredited)

Patrick Thatcher

Internet Neckbeard (uncredited)